Tuesday, October 23, 2007

heart of worship

Psalms 19 (Shane & Shane)

May the words of my mouth
And the meditations of my heart
Be pleasing to You
Pleasing to you

May the words of my mouth
And the meditations of my heart
Be pleasing to You
O, my God

You're my Rock and my Redeemer
You're the reason that I sing
I desire to be a blessing
In Your eyes

Every hour every moment
Lord I want to be Your servant
I desire to be a blessing
In Your eyes

i was recently reminded that praise should always be consistent, because God is consistent. just because you have a bad day or if you just aren't good at it doesn't mean you shouldn't give him your all. otherwise, you're just worshiping for yourself. i'm thankful that He has made me humble over the years to learn this and i pray i can really take it to heart.

that said, i really wish someone would teach me to sing..

Monday, October 15, 2007

my mom flew in to visit me last saturday.  it makes me smile even now to think of it.  sadly, i've spent only about 3 full weeks with her this year. it's funny that just 3 years ago, i wanted to get away from chicago, from everything and everyONE.  now that i've got my wish, i've never been so homesick.  granted, i'm happy where i am and i have no regrets for the decisions i've made since. but i seriously underestimated my connection to chicago and how much i'd miss it. i mean, i take pride in the littlest of things now: my Illinois (ill-E-noy) license plates, my U of I t-shirts and other paraphernalia, my driver's license (snowball's chance in hell i'm going to renew in RI).

side story: i saw a girl in an SUV with illinois plates. i nearly jumped in front of her moving ca and gave her a thumbs up with a crazy smile. i bet she's glad i didn't. 

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

on everything that is nothing.

I really don't know what I'm about to write about. I haven't really thought out in my mind the beginning nor the end of this post. so, here goes nothing..

[disclaimer]: i tend to state very obvious, redundant, completely unrelated, or extremely insightful remarks with no objective but to share those thoughts with others. so if you see yourself thinking to yourself, "so what does this mean?", my answer is quite simple: nothing. absolutely nothing.

I realize - rather, constantly reminded - that I am one grand old mess inside and out. i was at red robin's with my housemates the other day (great restaurant with endless fries. check it out!) and one of them pointed out that i'm quite brutally honest to the point that i come off as a sarcastic jerk. o_O

the same housemate also pointed out that i have a tendency of "flatlining" while making comments. in other words, i start a comment such as "there was a guy i thought was strange" and space out for the next minute or two, leaving those around me hanging and guessing what was on my mind. i guess this kind of goes with my "random comments" thing. the funny thing is, it has happened so often that they've proceeded to mimic the flatlining sound (the loooong beep of a heart monitor) whenever it happens. and what's even better is that i flatlined not 2 minutes after he pointed it out. good times.

Yangpa has one of the most beautiful voices i have ever heard. If i ever meet a girl with that kind of voice, I'd marry her on the spot. haha, well, not literally. that would be kind of...hasty, not to mention superficial.

One's perception of what is difficult is merely a state of mind. For instance, when i started this internship, I had a deep loathing of coding. I wasn't any good at it nor did I want to get any better. at least that's what i told myself. i mean, i'm a mechanical engineer; coding is unnecessary in my line of work. 6 weeks later, I've written my own shell scripts and RPM spec files and other gee golly good stuff that I would have otherwise thought impossible for me to do. kinda makes me wonder...what else could i have taught myself and what other opportunities have i missed from my inability to grasp new material and my unwillingness to change perspectives? though it sounds kinda depressing, i've also realized that i can decide at this moment whether i want to continue with my current path or if i want something to change. that, my friends, is the beauty of life.

i drink water like it's my business. shoot, i already downed 4 bottles since lunch.

i think my next post will have a single topic to focus on. maybe i'll write about my roommates.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Spam: It's what's for lunch

So, I left my cube (read: prison) to attend a meeting (of which i loathe) regarding a new product we're releasing soon. After about an hour presentation and demonstration of the product, I stagger back to my cube only to find about 38 _new_ emails in my inbox.

what the hell.

Monday, July 9, 2007

A copy of an email I got upon coming into work today:

Hi,
I was sitting in traffic for an hour and decided to turn back home.
-hoan

that's my manager. naturally, i ell-oh-elled.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

the quest for happiness.

i wrote this in my journal last sunday in response to pastor eugene's sermon,

"What is my pursuit of happiness and where is it leading me to?"

a well deserved kick in the head, i do believe.